I know I’ve been missing for a while. I’ve been teaching myself to play the keyboard and it has been a life saver. For a brief period of time my troubles don’t exist and for the first time in years, (since menopause took over my world) I can actually focus on something. I can even play a couple of songs and recognize them. I should have done this much, much sooner.
Nothing else in my world has gotten better. My finances are a train wreck. I just got a $365 propane delivery I have no way to pay. My car inspection, oil change, and transmission flush are all due and I have no money to do that. My mortgage is a month behind. I won’t have enough money to meet my bills when I get paid on the 3rd and I’m a nervous wreck. I have no where to turn to for help.
I have been praying and reading my Bible again for the first time in over five years. Since I started playing the keyboard, I’ve been able to focus for short periods of time (like 15 minutes).
I tried selling some things on ebay but by the time they took their fees, paypal took their fees, and I paid the shipping, I was lucky if I walked away with $5.00. Certainly not worth the time it takes to make a good listing.
So, all in all my life is still not what I’d dreamed it would be. I’m still disabled and living in pain everyday. I’m in a financial nightmare. I can’t find a man that will love me anywhere (of course I don’t really go anywhere, how can I?). But I have my keyboard and Morriss.
Morriss is back on steroids for his allergies but he seems to be doing ok. That’s been another major stressor. When he’s not feeling well, I worry about how I will be able to afford to take care of him.
For today, I have a home, the Bible, food, Morriss, and the keyboard.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. The keyboard and music.
3. God who is up all night. I’m relying on him to figure this all out because I sure can’t.