Tag Archives: prayer

A Lot Has Happened

It would be absolutely impossible to cover all that has happened since the last time I wrote, so I’ll just let my fingers lead me to what to write about.

New Year’s Eve I got the surprise of my life when I called PNC Bank about my mobile home mortgage.  I didn’t have a new payment book so I thought I had just misplaced it.  WRONG!  I had a balloon payment of over $6,900 due on January 28, 2015.  (Which they just so kindly sent me a notice for on January 21st.  I always thought thirty days notice was customary, but apparently I’m wrong on that.)  As terrified as that information made me I’m glad I found out early.   After being on the phone and going round and round with many people who couldn’t give me any alternatives, except a short sale of my home, I tried applying for a personal loan.  The payments would have been $100 less than my mortgage, but they declined me.  I tried applying again with a friend as a co-signor and was declined once again.  I was scared out of my mind.

I knew there was no where I could go because I had done all the research over the summer and there’s no where I can afford to live on the disability income that I receive.  So I told God he really needed to handle it because I had no answers.  I asked the people at my church to pray for a miracle because I sure needed one.

And YES God did provide a miracle.  A person I barely know came to my home with a cashiers check and told me it was an interest free loan and the payments are about $90 cheaper than my mortgage was.  Thank you God!!!!   It was a great day when I walked into PNC Bank with my check book and paid the loan off and said good bye forever to them.  I will never deal with that bank again.

Over the month of December many people from my church prayed for me and helped me financially with everything from gift cards to Walmart and grocery stores to one nice couple paying my propane bill and the church helped me to catch up on a couple of things.  I don’t know what I would have done without my church family.

So today things are better.  I’m still living on an extremely limited budget, but I continue to pray that God will meet my need for groceries and medicine when I need it.  I have to believe God will meet my every need after what he has done with the mortgage.  That was a miracle and I thank God every day for sending me the miracle I needed.

Today we had snow and I tried something different when I went out to shovel.  I walked out the door and thanked God that I had a home, a driveway, and a car to shovel snow from instead of complaining and asking him where is the husband I’ve been begging him for.  I thanked him for helping me to physically do what I needed to do.  And once again he provided a miracle in giving me a good attitude while I was shoveling.  It took me three times as long as it normally would because I have a pulled muscle in my back from coughing so hard for three weeks over Christmas when I had pleurosy, but I got it done.

The rest of day was pain meds and recovery mode, but I made it through.

I guess if I have to give a piece of advice for today the first would be:  No matter how terrible and impossible things look, hang on and pray, God is listening.  and Secondly, try being positive instead of negative and complaining it will affect your outlook and attitude.

Today I’m grateful for:

1.  I have a home.

2.  A great church family, and people to help me.

3.  The wonderful dinner with my friend last night.



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Mail and Stuff

I finally checked my mail today. We have lock boxes at the top of the community and sometimes it takes me three or more days to get there. If I’m not feeling well I just don’t worry about it. I’m glad it’s locked so I don’t have to worry about my mail which is a relief.

I got a nice surprise in my mailbox this morning. A friend that reads my blog and one of her friends that’s been reading my blog sent me $40 to help with my finances. Thank you my friends. I think I will use that money for the groceries I’m going to need next week. One less thing to worry about.

I was in so much pain last night and all day today. I know I’ve just plain done too much this past week. Thankfully this week coming up is quiet so I can rest and recuperate.

A friend of mine told me the other night that my knee goes out-of-place every year in May or June. He’s known me fours years. I said, “Really?”
So today after church I got out my notebook of morning pages from May and June of 2012. I’ll be, May 25, 2012 my knee went out-of-place. I wonder if it has something to do with changing from shoes to sandals?

I also read about the day my mom broke her neck in a car accident on June 1, 2012. I was away and very worried about her and got so sick when I came home. I was on the verge of pneumonia from the stress my body went through not sleeping and worrying.

Then I read a little about the days following when mom was having hallucinations every time she closed her eyes. She was seeing bloody feathers, and people who had already passed all bloody and bloody cats. It sounded like a zombie movie. Thankfully that passed. I think it was all the medication she was on.

I am so thankful to Pastor Robert and Andrea Arrington for visiting my mom when I wasn’t able to and praying with her and praying for her in the weeks to come. My mother loved them so much and I’m hoping to get her to my church so she can show them how well she’s doing a year later.

Pastor Robert and Andrea are moving to New Jersey in August and I will miss them greatly. I know life is all about change and they have their whole life ahead of them, but they will be missed. I can’t imagine being a parent and having to watch your children move on with their lives. It must be very bitter-sweet.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. I have a quiet week coming up so I can rest my painful body.

2. Even though I’m in pain I still WANT to write my blog.

3. The surprise in my mailbox today.

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I Made It !

I made it through the last three days and even managed to keep up with my committment to blog every day. I consider that a huge personal victory.

By the time lunch came yesterday I was so very glad that I had packed a sandwich, chips, and grapes so I could escape the noise and crowds and eat in my quiet, cool car. Lunch was provided by the conference but it was buffet style and with my strange allergies I didn’t want to risk an allergic reaction on top of how I was already feeling. Best to stick with what I know.

I was feeling so awful as I sat in my quiet car eating lunch. Head pounding from a migraine that was making me want to seek out my couch and an ice pack. My entire body felt like little animals had invaded and were chewing on my bones devouring me from the inside out. Fatigue so bad I could barely keep my eyes open. My body felt like I had been run up and down the highway on the back of a tractor-trailer holding on to the bumper for dear life as he drove eighty miles per hour down the road.

I sat in my car debating about whether or not to just leave and go home early. But….then the disease would win once again. But…. how in the world could I keep going? I prayed during most of my lunch. Please God help me, Please God help me. Then the young man with migraines came to mind. I hadn’t seen him and I prayed that he was feeling well.

I remembered that I had put my empty travel mug that I used for tea in my bag before I walked out the door. And I had a tin with tea bags in my purse. Apple Cinnamon tea, but it would have to do. So by faith I drug my battle beaten body back into the conference and found a seat with three men and went to fill my mug with hot water for tea. It helped a little.

I made it till the end of the conference. There was one workshop I really wanted to go to, but the walk was too far so I opted for my second choice and the least amount of steps to get there. I did manage to take some notes but I don’t remember much right now. I will look at those in the next couple of days.

I wanted to talk to a few people before I left, but the disease won the final battle. I did get to talk to the young man with migraines and my prayers worked. He smiled and told me he felt good and hadn’t had a migraine in a couple of days. I joked with him and said, “God is letting me feel how you feel so I know better how to pray for you.”

I did manage to get a couple of business cards that I wanted from a couple of people. I will email them in the coming days and apologize that I couldn’t talk to them more that day.

The drive home was torture. I had music on very low for distraction and prayed all the way home. I tried to call my friend, but of course he didn’t answer. Last year I had my friend Derrick to talk me through my drive home, but this year no one. Such is life. Ups and downs. Good days and bad days. Lonely days and too many people days. Painful days and rare days when I feel almost ok. I’m anxiously awaiting a day when I feel good. In the meantime, I am glad I didn’t let this disease beat me completely and made it through the conference.

I was in bed by 7:30 pm with Morriss and had a very restless night. I cat napped all night, but just being in the dark with an ice pack on my head in my bed felt good. No church today. I need to rest.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. Making it through the last three days and most of all making it home safely.

2. That I packed my lunch yesterday and didn’t have to sit in the noisy dining room. (I probably would have just left if I didn’t have my lunch in my car.)

3. Even though I didn’t feel great yesterday I made it through the day and learned some new things and met some great people.

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Doctor Appointment Day

Another month has passed and it’s that time again. Doctor appointment time. Thankfully I like all my doctors so I never really dread going unless, of course, there’s something really bad going on. I’ve been living with the fibromyalgia for fourteen years now so there’s really no surprises or worries on that front. Pain, disappointment, and discouragement from time to time yes, but no worries. It won’t kill me, there will just be days that I wish it would.

I sat next to a young man I’ve met at other GLVWG events who suffers from terrible migraines. I woke up many times last night thinking about him. I told him I would pray that he doesn’t have to deal with any migraines during these three days of the conference. So each time I woke up and thought about him I prayed for him. And since I’m thinking about him now I’ll pray again.

Lord I pray that you bless that young man today and help him to feel fantastic. Keep all hints of migraines away from him. His smile and personality are so infectious and warm. He’s an absolute delight to be around. Take away those migraines from his life. He has such a refreshing attitude and insight into life and I pray that you bless him in all he does today and the days that follow. Thank you Father for answering and keeping those migraines away from him. Amen.

So this morning my doctor appointment, then back home to rest until tonight. Tonight I will be at the hotel for the writer’s conference and I will be reading people’s work for the “Page Cuts” workshop. The participants bring a one hundred word synopsis of their work and the first page. I will read it out loud and the panel of agents, editors, and speakers will critique the work. (all anonymous) I participated last year even though my piece was nowhere near ready, but it was a blast nonetheless. So that will be fun.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. The opportunity to serve as a volunteer and to learn new things.

2. Meeting new people and learning from them.

3. The power of prayer.

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