Focusing

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I know I’ve been missing for a while.  I’ve been teaching myself  to play the keyboard and it  has been a life saver.  For a brief period of time my troubles don’t exist and for the first time in years, (since menopause took over my world) I can actually focus on something.  I can even play a couple of songs and recognize them.  I should have done this much, much sooner.

Nothing else in my world has gotten better.  My finances are a train wreck.  I just got a  $365 propane delivery I have no way to pay.  My car inspection, oil change, and transmission flush are all due and I have no money to do that.  My mortgage is a month behind.  I won’t have enough money to meet my bills when I get paid on the 3rd and I’m a nervous wreck.  I have no where to turn to for help.

I have been praying and reading my Bible again for the first time in over five years.  Since I started playing the keyboard, I’ve been able to focus for short periods of time (like 15 minutes).

I tried selling some things on ebay but by the time they took their fees, paypal took their fees, and I paid the shipping, I was lucky if I walked away with $5.00.  Certainly not worth the time it takes to make a good listing.

So, all in all my life is still not what I’d dreamed it would be.  I’m still disabled and living in pain everyday.  I’m in a financial nightmare.  I can’t find a man that will love me anywhere (of course I don’t really go anywhere, how can I?).  But I have my keyboard and Morriss.

Morriss is back on steroids for his allergies but he seems to be doing ok.  That’s been another major stressor.  When he’s not feeling well, I worry about how I will be able to afford to take care of him.

For today, I have a home, the Bible,  food, Morriss, and the keyboard.

Today I’m grateful for:

1.  The keyboard and music.

2.  Morriss

3.  God who is up all night.  I’m relying on him to figure this all out because I sure can’t.

 

 

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5 Comments

September 20, 2014 · 9:25 am

5 responses to “Focusing

  1. Praying that things will get better for you.

  2. Oh Linda, it just keeps piling on!! Is there no other assistance than what you are on?? I feel like that is a dumb question because you would know if there was :(. It just sucks the situation you are in!!! Your place won’t sell?? I know things are different down where you are? I am sure you have thought of everything. Let go, let God is all you can do. Surely a God can cut you a break!!! Please keep us posted, even if it isn’t good news. And please let me know if you want to Skype. Sending you lots of love and strength!! Cathy x

  3. Praying for you, girl. Hang in there. It has to get better.

  4. Hey girl, how’s that key board coming along? You getting the hang of it? Just checking in on you. How are you doing? 🙂

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