Roadblocks

I need to drop back and punt.  I saw Dr. Ehrig today.  I asked about the senior subsidized housing and, no, I am not eligible.  I am not mobility impaired or mentally disabled, so that eliminates many choices.  The other subsidized housing does not allow cats so that eliminates a few more places.  Add to that I need a place with my own washer.  I am highly allergic to almost all detergents and before I bought my house I had uncontrollable hives.  I still have hives but not as bad as before.  So I need an affordable place under $700 a month that allows Morriss where I can have a washer.  From what I’ve been seeing that will be a needle in a haystack.  So the need to drop back and punt.  I guess I’m stuck here for a while.

In the meantime I will continue to de-clutter and scale down to the most loved and important things.

I also told Dr. Ehrig about my jaw and he listened very carefully with a stethoscope and then my heart and wants me to have an ultrasound.  He said the artery in the neck isn’t a normal artery to get an aneurysm, but he did look concerned.  So now I wait for the hospital to call to set up the ultrasound.

I’m so very tired.  I feel like I’m stuck in a box and trying to kick my way out but the box won’t break.  I’ve had people tell me that I am the only one that can change my life and make it better.  I just want to know HOW?!?  I don’t wallow in these things.  If you would see me out most likely you would think I didn’t have any problems.  I try to be cheerful and upbeat, but when I’m alone and fighting to get through each day I feel totally overwhelmed and defeated.

Tomorrow is a new day if God allows me to see it.

Today I’m grateful for:

1.  Even though things didn’t go well today I still kept my commitment to me to walk.

2.  I took a much needed three hour nap this afternoon.  (I’ve only been sleeping an hour or two at a time every night for the past two months, so three hours straight was wonderful!!!)

3.  I gave two books to the neighbor to keep.  So two books out of the house today.

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