Pitfalls and Ditches

As with any journey you know there will be pitfalls and ditches along the way to overcome.  I just didn’t expect them so early on in this journey.

I’ve called four different realtors so far and only one bothered to call me back and the news he gave me was quite disappointing, although not a complete shock.   His phone call explained why no one else even bothered to call me back.

I feel like I’m trapped and I can’t get out even though I want to.  Anyone thinking of buying a mobile home and living in a community where you pay lot rent let me give you some helpful advice:  DON’T.

No, I haven’t given up, but my game plan has changed.  Now I’m going to focus on where I want to go and getting my home emptied out and keeping only what I want to take with me.  Hopefully before winter hits I will be able to sell without taking too much of a hit.  I was hoping to walk away with a little bit of money to get started on my new life, but now I’ll be glad if I can at least break even.

Add to the home stress, my transmission has been slipping in my car.  My mechanic fit me in yesterday to make sure I didn’t have any leaks because I had hit a huge pot hole a few weeks back.   Nope, no leaks.  I am due for my transmission flush, but I can’t afford to do that right now.  He didn’t seem to think that would cause it to slip.  He said it could be a solenoid going bad, but the engine light didn’t go on yet.  I’m usually aware of a problem 100 miles before the idiot light comes on.  So if the idiot light comes on it’s most likely a solenoid.  If it doesn’t then I’ll try changing the fluid when I can afford the extra $100 +.  In the meantime I have to drive my mom to get her neck x-rayed this Friday and next Friday I have to take her to see the neurosurgeon.  So now I’m stressed about the car breaking down on top of the house, my finances, my pain and everything else.  I have no money for any repairs on the car so if it dies I’m stranded here where I live.  There aren’t even any buses I can catch.  I am so scared God!  Sometimes I wonder if God even sees me and what I’m going through.

I cried for quite a while before sleeping last night.  I’m so very tired.  I just feel completely beaten down.

Today I’m grateful for:  (digging real deep today)

1.  I have a roof over my head for today.

2.  Morriss.

3.  I’m going to walk today even though I really don’t feel like it.



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