It was Friday, April 13, 1999. (YES, FRIDAY THE 13TH and tax day since the 15th fell on Sunday) Not a great day for surgery of any kind if you ask my opinion. But it was the only opening available when they found the abdominal aortic aneurysms in my stomach. I was only given three weeks to live and a 30% chance of surviving the massive bypass operation.
Had I known then what I know now I’m not sure if I would have gone through with the surgery. Had I known that I would lose my right kidney six months later. Had I known I would live in insufferable pain for the rest of my life from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and a host of other health issues stemming from the surgeries. Had I known….
Had I known and not gone through with the surgery I might have missed many good moments amidst the pain. I still have days that are so terribly hard to endure that I wish I could go back in time and not go through the surgery and all the pain that has followed, but then I would have missed
-Many prison ministry meetings that left me more blessed than the inmates.
-Finding Bethany Wesleyan Church and the amazing pastors and people that serve God and attend there.
-Friends that meant the world to me coming and going in and out of my life.
-Buddy and Morriss.
-Meeting the love of my life. (I know it will never work out because we met too late and he already has other committments. I will forever miss the way he made me feel alive and the look of love I saw in his eyes for me even though the time was brief)
-Amazing books I’ve read by Melody Carlson, Ryan Winfield, Nicholas Sparks, Michael Baron and Steven Manchester.
-The amazing year of blogging I did last year and all the neat people I’ve come across here and the awards I was given by others.
-My friend James who made me enjoy science fiction.
– The amazing blogger Shaun, who can write about anything and make it interesting, who taught me how to skype so I could hear his scottish accent and freak out the cat.
-All the fibromyalgia people I’ve met online and in person. We truly are not suffering alone.
-All the tech stuff I’ve learned in the past 15 years through working in different sound rooms at different churches and my own curiousity.
So I guess my point is, I’m glad I didn’t know about all the hard times, pain and suffering that would be in every one of my future days because I would have missed some amazing moments.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. I had a nice relaxing day and a nap.
2. An awesome church.
3. I’m alive and able to write today.