It was just a few short days ago that I found the Christmas Spirit while handing out cookies. But I lost it within hours it seems when we got snow after snow and I’ve spent this entire week on the couch in a major fibromyalgia flare unable to even do the basics to take care of myself because of the shoveling I had to do.
I fear the Christmas spirit has left me entirely now. I still have some cookies to bake, but gone is the joy that I felt mere days ago.
After the anxiety attack the other night I’m filled with despair and fear. I’m trying not to be, but I’m alone, I’m sick, and I’m terrified. But I will put on my happy face when I walk out the door because who really wants to know the truth of how you’re doing anyway.
I haven’t sent out one Christmas card or even written any out to give out to people. I truly just don’t care right now. I’m just hoping I feel well enough to meet with a friend for dinner tonight.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. I have a home for today.
2. I have a car to get me where I need to go.
3. Hopefully the snow will melt soon.