Last night I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I’ve ever experienced. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding, and everything seemed so very loud even though it was the middle of the night.
Every time the furnace kicked on it seemed to be louder and I was praying that it wouldn’t break down. I know it’s old and I’m really concerned about it making it through the winter.
The cat was washing himself and usually that doesn’t bother me, but it seemed so very loud during that attack. I pleaded with him to please stop because mommy was going to cry if he didn’t.
I felt totally out of control and terrified. I got my Bible out and went straight to Psalm 55:5-7 “Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking. Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness.”
After reading that over and over a few times I took my open Bible, placed it on my chest and went to sleep. I slept for two hours before waking up again. Thankfully by then the anxiety was gone. It was an awful night for sleep and so I spent most of today laying on the couch resting.
I don’t know what that was all about. The only thing I can imagine is I know how fast I’m sinking financially and I don’t know what to do to reverse it. I’m scared of what’s going to happen to me. I’ve been in so much pain these last few days I can’t even imagine going through that in a strange place that’s not my home.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. I have a home.
2. I had food for dinner and for Morriss.
3. I’m going to try to make some cookies.