Here we go again. There isn’t enough money to pay the bills once again. It seems each month I’m falling farther and farther behind. It’s maddening.

If you care to help my paypal id is: Many thanks to those of you who have helped me in the past.

I finally had my electric bill caught up and now I can’t pay it again. I wish I knew what the answer to this was. It’s not like I can work extra hours or a second job to catch up, I can’t even work a couple of hours without screwing myself physically and financially.

I really thought that the promises made were going to be kept for once in my life. But here I sit alone and on my own and scared out of my mind once again. The promise of next year at this time I will be with you and we’ll do this together made by the man I truly thought loved me. How foolish I was to believe those words. I should know by now in my journey that men never mean those words when they’re talking to me.

I thought because God came into my life all that had changed and he had made all things new. Well that’s one area that has not changed at all. I still am a target to be used or abused and then thrown away. So I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Friends only! It’s not worth the pain I’m feeling right now to ever try this again.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. I had food for today.

2. I took a wonderful nap this afternoon.

3. I’m learning I have to take care of me and forget about there ever being a man for me.



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9 responses to “Struggling

  1. I’m sorry you are struggling so much right now. I live off disability and it takes almost every penny to pay for my damn cobra insurance which runs out at the end of January. They said since I’m disabled they could extend it by 11 more months, but the rate would go up even higher. I wish I could help you. I’m about ready to get on my blog and ask for people to help me. How do you go about getting this pay pal account? I’m going to be living down under the damn bridge soon and I am serious. I try not to worry about it and try like hell to take it just one day at a time, as hard as that is
    Now, you don’t just go giving up on men. You just need to take a break from men, it sounds like to me. Your soul mate is out there, you just haven’t found him, yet. I know, there’s a lot of bad fish in the sea, but they aren’t all bad. When the time is right, when you least expect it, he will be there. You gotta trust me on this one. Can’t wait for the day when you send me a message saying, “Tammy you were right. Mr. Soul mate has arrived.” It will happen. Just forget about it for now, sit back and do what you’re doing and then out of nowhere he WILL appear. šŸ™‚

    • Hi Tammy. Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond , one day just seems to blend into the next. To get a PayPal account, go to and sign up. It’s free but you will need a credit our debit card on file with them.

      • That’s ok. You don’t have to respond by a certain time. You don’t even have to respond at all if you don’t want to. I know what you mean by one day just blending into the next. Last week, on Wednesday I was telling everyone to have a nice weekend. I thought it was Friday, apparently. LOL
        Are you having any luck with the pay pal acct? Are people actually helping you? I hate asking for help, it’s a really hard thing for me to do, but I have so many medical bills and try to live on disability, of which most of it goes to pay for my insurance and leaves me with very little to get through the month. Not even enough to pay all my co-pays for all my doctor appointments. Was just curious as to if you were getting the help you need? I hope you are feeling better.
        Tammy šŸ™‚

      • Hi Tammy,
        I have had a couple of people help me and for that I am grateful but I am not ok financially. I’m still wondering everyday how I’m going tho make it through one more day. I hope things work out for you.

  2. I worry a lot about how I’m even going to make it one more day, for several reasons. I have to breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, and breathe, and try to just live in the moment, right now. Right now I’m just trying to make it from minute to minute. Some days it’s hour to hour and on much better days it’s day to day. I’m having a very difficult time, right now. You’ll make it to tomorrow, but just try to stay focused on today. Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here. None of us are even guaranteed a tomorrow, so try not to waste energy on tomorrow that you can apply to today. Things will all work out. I don’t know how, myself, but they will I am told. Hang in there, girl, you got this.
    Wild Thang aka Tammy šŸ™‚

  3. I’ll make a deal with ya. You keep hanging in there and I will, too. Deal? I must say, I hate this ride, but I gotta figure out how I’m gonna make it any different. Guess I better just start practicing what I’m preaching.
    Peace out,
    Wild Thang

  4. Alright, girl, we got a deal. Not gonna be easy, but WE will, some way, some how, make it, as painful as it is. We’re now in this shitty thing together. Talk to you soon. I need a nap. I just got home from my lovely procedure and they knocked me completely out and I’m barely able to keep my eyes open, but I’m hooked on this WordPress and had to make a quick check in to make sure I didn’t miss anything. So, hang in there and remember I’m here, any time. I got your back, girl. Now, let’s get down to business and work on getting better, as better as we can get, anyway.
    Wild Thang aka Tammy šŸ™‚

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