It’s All Too Much

We had a wicked thunderstorm here last night. I would guess the winds were at least 45 to 50 mph. The power went off for a minute or so during the storm and then hours later when I was reading in bed (probably because the electric company was bringing others back on). When I was young I used to enjoy these storms, as kids we’d even be in the pool swimming. (yeah I know, not a smart idea, but mom and dad were good with it. Maybe they were hoping one of us would be toasted. lol)

Now, as a homeowner on disability those storms scare me half to death. There is no money for food so I certainly can’t afford to be fixing anything. The storms last year ate my life insurance up. So when I die just throw me out a car window doing 65 mph into a field and let the animals have at me.

The worst part of owning a mobile home is the insurance coverage. Since my home is over five years old I can only get depreciated value insurance. Meaning all the things that have happened to my home, the roof being ripped off and the skirting being torn out, they only paid the depreciated value less my deductible which wasn’t nearly enough to fix the problems.

And this morning I’m sitting here remembering that my brand new skirting that I paid so much for has two panels laying under my house and the wood is broken from the water main break. So there’s an open gap under my house that the storm was probably blowing through last night. I need to go look at that after my shower. I truly hope the people here that tore that up are going to make it right. I’m so tired and discouraged this morning I can’t stand it.

My whole life is just one crisis after another and I am TIRED! I still need to get the plumber here to fix the outside faucet that’s probably jammed up with sediment from when the water main broke. Yet another thing I don’t have the money for. This has been the story of my whole life and I’m sick of it. I watch other women who have husbands just float along and let him deal with all this garbage. Not me I have to deal with EVERYTHING! I’m really not sure how much longer I can do this alone.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. I have a home.

2. I’m in pain, but I can still walk, talk, see, hear, smell, taste, etc.

3. My car.

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