Pulling Myself Up

I’m trying to pull myself up today. I had a very emotional night and cried myself to sleep once again. Now my eyes feel like heavy sandbags on my face and are all blurry. I know what I must do, but why is it so very difficult to follow through.

All I want to do today is go out and wash and wax my car. That’s always been one of my favorite things to do. My body doesn’t want to do that, but I would make it and pay for it all next week. If only, the grass didn’t need to be cut again. Uggghhh! The grass will win because it needs to be done and it’s going to be a fairly cool day only 80 degrees with no humidity. In the old days I could do both the car and the grass plus add the grocery store, cleaning, and laundry. But now with this beast called fibromyalgia I know I must only pick one or totally derail myself for weeks.

So the grass will win the “to do” lottery for the day. I pray I can get to the car before winter hits because it’s filthy and I really need to get a coat of wax on it since it sits outside in the elements year round.

Tomorrow I will have to go to the grocery store after dinner with my mom and sister. So tomorrow is out for the car too. So depressing.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. I read Lesson two for my class last night on plots. A little confusing, but I’ll get it, I’m sure.

2. I am able to cut the grass.

3. I have a decent car to drive.

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