Lost Day

Yesterday was what I consider a lost day, because I didn’t feel well enough to do anything much. I did do my regular writing, but that’s only forty minutes to an hour out of my day. I guess I need to celebrate that and not diminish it. I WROTE YESTERDAY!

I spent most of yesterday trying to rest, but the pain was so horrendous even that was like work. This is what chronic pain does to me. It beats me to a bloody pulp and even when I’m exhausted it won’t let me rest. Which, of course, causes the pain to become even more intense. Aggghhh! The worst part is, I never can tell what’s going to set it off.

I know Sunday I did too much. If I wouldn’t have mowed the lawn, I’d probably at least be able to function and get to the grocery store, but I really couldn’t wait to cut the grass. We’ve had rain here yesterday morning and today it was pouring. And the rest of my week has somehow gotten filled up. I have one thing each day Thursday through Sunday so I know the way I’ve been feeling that is all I can do. I will celebrate that I was smart enough to cut the grass on Sunday. I’ll pay for it now and hopefully be able to enjoy my lunches on Thursday and Friday.

Since I couldn’t do the cleaning I so desperately wanted to do yesterday I did my nails last night so I at least felt like I accomplished something worthwhile. Of course my brain was in a fog and I started putting them on before I used the alcohol pad on my nails so I had to peel four of them off and start over. This pain really messes with not only your body but you mind too. I KNOW how to apply these peel and stick nails, but when I’m in pain I forget what I know, I need directions to do the dishes because my brain just shuts down from being in too much pain for too long.

Just as I fell asleep yesterday for my nap the phone rang and it was my doctor’s office telling me my appointment next Friday was being cancelled and she gave me two options to reschedule. Being half asleep I had to have her repeat what she said about three times. I could tell she was getting extremely annoyed with me. I made her stay on the phone with me until I got it into my phone calendar and said it back to her twice, after which she just hung up on me. Sorry my brain is complete mush. (Yet another reason I’m on disability!) And then I couldn’t get back to sleep because the pain fired up twice as bad from being interrupted. So tonight at 7:00 is my new appointment. That will be difficult for me because I’m usually getting ready to settle into bed to read by 8:00.

I was going to go to the grocery store this morning, but since my doctor is down by the grocery store I guess it’s wiser to wait until after my appointment so I don’t make two trips and waste precious gas and precious energy. Although when I get out of the doctor it will be getting dark. I don’t know….. Guess I’ll figure that out later.

That’s the end of my rambling thoughts for today.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. We didn’t get the awful weather they were calling for where I live. Thank you God for your protection.

2. I learned my phone has a really cool swipe feature for the keyboard. (I only figured that out by accident because my keyboard shrunk and I had to figure out how to restore it, which I did. That made me feel smart.)

3. I have leftovers for dinner so I don’t have to worry about cooking tonight. Maybe I’ll actually be able to take a nap today.

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