Another Idea Down

One of my regular readers suggested I add a donate button linking to paypal to my blog. Last night I figured out how to do that, but there was a disclaimer that the donate button was for use with non-profit organizations with a cause. I just don’t think my pathetic life qualifies for that. Another one bites the dust. I guess I’m one day closer to the answer, I don’t know.

I did come across something interesting on the WordPress site about allowing advertisements on your page and making money from your blog that way, but you must have a custom-made blog. It looked really confusing to me last night. I don’t even know where I found the information anymore. I should have bookmarked it, but I was in too much pain and too tired and so it fell through the cracks. Uggghhh! Can I say I am TIRED of feeling like crap every single day of my life with the exception of one or two good days here and there!

I know many people are much worse off than I am, and I try very hard to remember that on the bad days, but it’s all just so overwhelming. I feel like people think I really am happy not working and that is so not the truth. If I felt good and could support myself I might be, but since I feel horrible all the time and can’t even keep up with my home it’s really not. People think I can work a couple of hours under the table to supplement my income. No I can’t. Number one that is illegal and it’s not worth the risks of getting caught. Number two I really just can’t. I try not to let people see how very sick I am and so no one who knows me really knows. Only Morriss sees how truly bad things are with me. I’m scared of how bad it is some days. I keep getting up and falling over in the afternoon, but I really don’t know how much longer my body will tolerate all this pain.

Ok I’m ranting and rambling. That wasn’t my intention when I logged in this morning, but that’s where my mind is today. I woke up in so much pain and so tired I laid there weighing which one was worse. Of course the pain won and forced me out of bed even though I’m so tired I stumbled up the hall way to feed the cat and myself so I could take my medicine. I’m so very tired of this existence.

Today I’m grateful for: (digging deep today)

1. I have medicine to take that at least takes the edge off.

2. Morriss is sitting in the hall watching over me as I type this because he knows I’m in a bad way today. (Normally he’d be enjoying having the bed to himself by now)

3. I have left overs for dinner so I don’t have to cook tonight.



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2 responses to “Another Idea Down

  1. Keep digging. I’ve seen blogs with a button that says “buy me a cup of coffee.” It’s always hardest before the breakthrough. I am a regular reader because God has put you on my heart. I send up prayers every time! He loves you, I’m sure you know. Find hope and peace. He has the answers. Loops! Just as I wrotethat, I felt corrected. He IS the answer. IIt’s going to be a good day for you. What dies that liik like?

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