What a fantastic way to start the morning to find out your electric is scheduled to be shut off on July 19th. Really?!? I’ve been running behind and I have a balance of $208.00. Wow! The best part is, I spoke with someone yesterday and they never mentioned this little surprise to me. I guess they were just going to shock me on the day of and just shut it off. Nothing like giving you time to deal with it. I am grateful that God laid it on my heart to call the automated system this morning. Without air conditioning I would balloon up in hives and possibly die, but I guess that just doesn’t matter to anyone.
So I scrambled around and pulled all my money together to pay the past due amount of $119.00 so they would stop the shut off action. So now I have $6.22 left for food, gas, and other necessities until August 3rd. And then after paying bills I will have $42.98 to get food, gas, and other necessities. I just want to cry but I’m in too much pain and too tired.
I called the Operation Help number that PPL gave me yesterday and after numerous tries and numerous busy signals and the phone ringing and ringing and ringing I found out that they won’t have funding until October. Nice…
I don’t even know which way to turn right now. I don’t want to fall back into the pit of depression I was in because I don’t know that I will make it back out this time. I’m just so overwhelmed that there is absolutely no help for me in any of these government programs.
Now you may be saying, “Why not ask your church?” As much as I love my church, I’ve had a humiliating experience when I asked for help. I had to give a balance sheet of my income and expenses and the guy in charge asked me all kinds of questions. I am not a stupid individual, but by the time I left there I felt like the most stupid person to ever walk this earth. I can’t go through those feelings again. I know that person is very good with finances and for that I am grateful, but when it comes to people in need he’s absolutely clueless about how bad people already feel when they’ve stooped to ask for help, they don’t need to be questioned like children. I am not the only person that was treated this way, I’ve been praying that God would open the eyes of the people in charge to change this, but it hasn’t happened as of yet and I don’t feel like I’m to be the whistle-blower. (although as I wrote that maybe this is the way it will be found out. I don’t know)
I’m thinking of the men who worked on my steps outside. That’s how people in need should be treated. He’s so nice. He didn’t ask for a balance sheet, he just asked what I needed done and then proceeded to do an excellent job of fixing my steps for me. No questions asked except pertaining to the steps. He treated me with respect and dignity and made me feel like God loved me and cared about me. That’s the way it should be done.
I had wanted to go to the Writer’s Cafe tonight, but since they moved it to the Barnes & Noble and it’s now forty minutes from my house I don’t know that I can spend that gas to get there right now.
To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. But I have electric.
All I know right now is I am scared and alone to deal with this. Yes, I know God is aware and I know He is all-powerful and can do anything, but I’ve been struggling for so long with health and finance issues I truly wonder if He even sees me.
Today I’m grateful for: (working hard for this today)
1. My electric won’t be shut off on July 19th.
2. I have gas in my car.
3. Writing is free.