Tiring Tuesday

I woke up at 2:30 am this morning and couldn’t shut my mind off. I’m so overwhelmed by my lack of money and the very real possibility that I won’t be able to keep my home. I’m already a month behind on my mortgage and my electric is now two months behind. I needed to get zyrtec and mucinex today at the wholesale club (huge savings on these) so that took care of my food money. There was a time when both these medications were prescriptions and only cost me $2.00 for a 30 day supply. Now I’m pay ALOT more. Like .50 and $1.00 a pill. Ridiculous. And it’s life threatening if I don’t have these medications. The hives would quickly cause anaphylaxis.

I know worrying won’t change anything, but I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out what to do to turn this around and I got nothing. I tried to work with the mortgage company to skip a payment, but since there are only 21 payments left they won’t let me do that. They also won’t refinance for a lower interest rate because my mobile home is over 5 years old and sits on rented land. I feel like I’m pounding my head against a brick wall.

I was so consumed with fear and anxiety I never was able to get back to sleep. I worry about what’s going to happen to me and Morriss. I was crying and praying and asking God if He even sees me and what I’m going through. This is really testing my faith.

The fear has subsided only because I am too exhausted to even try to wrap my mind around it. I think it’s time for me to call it a day and go to bed and hopefully get some much-needed rest.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. I have the medication I need.

2. I’m too tired to be anxious right now.

3. Me and Morriss had food for today.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Tiring Tuesday

  1. Hang in there. I really hope things start to turn around for you soon.

  2. Hi, I enjoyed reading your post. I can relate to what you are feeling, even about your mortgage and the cost for prescription meds. I too have the same issues that I become so overly concerned about at times. Of course, having Fibromyalgia or any other kind of pain issues that drains you, makes it worse. People who live with pain and have daily challenges of their activities of daily living (ADL) chores, learn how to be stronger in order to weather this continuous storm we are in. Hang in there, because we will all be hanging with you. I would love for you to follow my blog so we can stay in touch. Thank you.

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