I woke up at 2:30 am this morning and couldn’t shut my mind off. I’m so overwhelmed by my lack of money and the very real possibility that I won’t be able to keep my home. I’m already a month behind on my mortgage and my electric is now two months behind. I needed to get zyrtec and mucinex today at the wholesale club (huge savings on these) so that took care of my food money. There was a time when both these medications were prescriptions and only cost me $2.00 for a 30 day supply. Now I’m pay ALOT more. Like .50 and $1.00 a pill. Ridiculous. And it’s life threatening if I don’t have these medications. The hives would quickly cause anaphylaxis.
I know worrying won’t change anything, but I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out what to do to turn this around and I got nothing. I tried to work with the mortgage company to skip a payment, but since there are only 21 payments left they won’t let me do that. They also won’t refinance for a lower interest rate because my mobile home is over 5 years old and sits on rented land. I feel like I’m pounding my head against a brick wall.
I was so consumed with fear and anxiety I never was able to get back to sleep. I worry about what’s going to happen to me and Morriss. I was crying and praying and asking God if He even sees me and what I’m going through. This is really testing my faith.
The fear has subsided only because I am too exhausted to even try to wrap my mind around it. I think it’s time for me to call it a day and go to bed and hopefully get some much-needed rest.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. I have the medication I need.
2. I’m too tired to be anxious right now.
3. Me and Morriss had food for today.