Ahh the all too familiar rage and agitation of uncontrolled menopause hormones have returned to team up with my bum knee and the out of control fibromyalgia pain turning me into a raging screaming lunatic. I’ve looked at the bottle of anti-depressants many times in the past couple of days, but I know one pill will set my shoulder on fire again and that pain is finally gone and only a memory.
Since I need my left shoulder to be able to use the crutch to support my right knee I’ve been staying away from the anti-depressants. But I know this agitation and rage is only going to intensify unless I take one to kick it down a notch.
Poor Morriss probably thinks he’s living with a complete nut case. I was screaming at the top of my lungs this morning because I just can’t take one more thing. I don’t have enough money to pay my electric bill or my mortgage. I had to put out $10 to cut my grass because my knee is still out-of-place. I have to pay the exterminator $35 tomorrow to spray for the ants because my neighbors are infested with them and they invade my house if I don’t have the exterminator here once a month.
I’m in so much pain I can’t even think straight. And then add to all that a man who doesn’t even know me got my number from someone who told him I know how to sell things on ebay and he thought since he would pay me I should just drop everything to do this for him. I haven’t sold anything on ebay in over fifteen years and I have no idea how much things have changed since then. Plus I’m so overwhelmed just trying to keep up with food shopping and keeping up with the lawn and the basics around the house I told him I just can’t right now. He said a couple of things that really rubbed me the wrong way and I could hear my voice getting agitated and so I declined and cut the call short.
How dare people think they are doing me a favor by adding more to my already overstressed plate. He doesn’t even know me or what I’m struggling with. I’m so very tired of people giving me “helpful advice” when they truly know NOTHING about me.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. I didn’t have to leave my house and interact with anyone today.
2. I almost have my fruit cleaned and cut up. (It’s taken me all day to do a little bit and then put ice on my knee, do a little bit, put ice on my knee. etc….)
3. Morriss is going to do the blog tomorrow.