I was up, showered, and dressed early only to have common sense wake me up to my reality. My right knee is still acting up and going out-of-place so I have no business driving an hour round trip. So here I sit on the couch with my netbook tapping away at the keyboard.
Angry, frustrated, annoyed, and any other negative adjective you can imagine. I’m so very tired. Tired of being in pain, tired of being alone, tired of fighting so hard, tired of not being able to do the normal things everyone takes for granted. Just TIRED!!!!!
I know other people are worse off than me and I’m sorry I’m on my pity pot again, but I’m just overwhelmed by my life.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to the picnic either. It’s not as far of a drive, but I don’t have anything to take and no money to buy anything to take. I hate feeling like a mooch and showing up with nothing. I just don’t know. Maybe it’s best if I just get out the ice and put my knee up, and rest, and forget about having any sort of a life.
I’m so aggravated by this body that continually betrays me. It’s every month or every couple of weeks that something bigger and badder than the fibromyalgia attacks and brings me to a total stop. It’s no wonder I can’t get my house in order, I’m struggling to just keep the basics under control. Did I tell you I’m TIRED!!!!
Today I’m grateful for: (not a whole lot)
1. I have a home and electricity. (but if I can’t figure out a way to pay my bill that may not last.)
2. I have food for today.
3. The book I’m reviewing for Steven Manchester, “The Rockin’ Chair” is awesome so far. (I’m about half way done.)