What were you doing at 2:30 am? I was running outside in my nightgown to put the trash out.
Nothing like waking up from a dead sleep to hear the trash truck and remember that you didn’t put the trash out. AGGGGHHHH! And since the ants are already trying to plan their infiltration into my home I don’t want anything outside to attract them.
And of course I haven’t been able to sleep since. By 4:00 am I gave up trying to sleep and got up, fed the cat, had breakfast, and wrote my morning pages.
Now my eyes are crossing as I’m typing this so I guess I’ll be going back to bed shortly. Thankfully I don’t need to be anywhere today.
I’m feeling really weary this morning. Not just because of not sleeping, but because I was weeping uncontrollably last night. My friend stopped by to say hi on his lunch break and I managed to hold myself together until his car pulled away and then I just broke down and couldn’t stop crying for about an hour. You’d think I’d be happy he stopped by right?
I was, but his visit also reminded me of how very much I love him and miss him and the reality that he will never have the time for me that I’m longing for. I’m so lonely and it’s so rare that I find someone who really understands me. Someone who I want to spend time with. I finally found that someone and there’s no time for me. *SIGH*
I wish people would realize the brevity of life and what’s truly important. It’s not about the money you make or how much stuff you can accumulate. It’ about people and spending quality time with the ones you love.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. It was nice to see my friend, it’s been a while.
2. I don’t have anywhere to be so I can go back to bed for a while if I want to, or I can nap later.
3. I got my trash out in time.