Appearances

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I’ve gotten more compliments in the few hours since I’ve put on these peel and stick nails than I ever have about my fingernails. Funny, they really weren’t my favorites when I looked at them in the box. I bought them because they were cheap and looked fun.

I find that happens with clothes too. Sometimes things don’t look all that great on the hanger, but when you try it on it looks fantastic. And the opposite applies, the clothes that look great on the hanger look horrible on.

This can apply to people too. This is where my intuition (or gut feelings) are right 99% of the time, but I don’t always listen because I tell myself I’m being too quick to judge. And it’s not really judging, its self-protective mode. I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Over the years I’ve allowed the wrong people into my life and have gotten hurt, but the older I get the more selective I get about who I allow close.

There’s a lot to be said for first impressions. I myself like to delve a little deeper before I make conclusions of any sort. Usually my gut feeling tells me what I need to know within an hour. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I think I’m being more noble by not listening and end up hurting myself terribly.

I know I get overlooked by people all the time because I’m heavy. When I was thin I got a lot more attention. Now people tend to avoid me. I was even in a church where the women did that in their women’s ministry. One of the women in charge told my friend that they hadn’t accepted me as a facilitator because I was heavy and apparently undisciplined, I lived in a trailer, and I drove an old car. All of which do not define me as a human being. They never even looked closer to see my heart.

Really?! I’m so glad my present church has seen beyond my weight. In fact I’m on the tech team at my church (which is 97% men). They saw my interest and let me try it and I love it. How very important is the sound, video, lighting, and cameras. I feel honored and blessed to be a part of making the service happen.

I’ve learned people who don’t like me because of the way I look, where I live, my disease, or what I drive are people I don’t want to know anyway. I am kind, loving, loyal, smart, funny, and a person who has overcome much in my 46 years. I don’t need fake people with fake agendas in my life anymore.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. People who look beyond the outside appearances to what lies deeper.

2. Being a part of my church’s tech team.

3. I have fours days that I can rest and recuperate from the weekend.

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