Admitting Defeat

Funny when you have pain you realize just how important that part of your body is for daily functioning. And all the tricks you try to make it feel better. Like if I let my shoulders go slack and breathe deep and try to relax, maybe that will help, NO. Maybe if I do stretches, NO. Maybe a hot shower, NO. Maybe the heating pad, NO. Maybe an ice pack, NO. Thankfully it’s my left shoulder, but even two muscle relaxers yesterday didn’t help. Guess I have no other choice but physical therapy. I hope they still have the help for people with low-income or I won’t be able to do it.

I wish I could go back to James Keefe in Wescoesville. He was awesome. He helped me more than anyone ever has, but I can’t afford the 20% co-pay or the gas to get to him. So that’s not going to happen.

At this point I just want to get the pain in my shoulder to a level where I don’t feel like puking from the pain. I’ve been going through this for far too long now.

The rest of my body is at a level 9 today and my shoulder is at 100 on a scale of 1 to 10. Funny one of my fellow blogging friends did a post on the pain scale yesterday. I love his insight. Check out Dave at He describes fibromyalgia perfectly.

I was going to write about my days in the hospital, but I will sum them up on another day. My shoulder is demanding all my attention right now.

Today I’m grateful for:

1. The hot shower I’m going to take.

2. Good doctors.

3. I don’t need the heat or the air conditioners on today.


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