Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I saw that quote on my Facebook wall last night and just had to write it down in my writer’s notebook. It spoke volumes to me at the very moment I read it. Especially after my post about my insecurities yesterday.
Then this morning I got a comment on my insecurity post from stacey1979 (a fellow blogger) that opened a door to the light I’ve been seeking. She shared that she too had this problem in her first marriage and she was diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder. Which made me think of a book I read a long time ago about personality types. There was a test to determine your personality type and I came up equally with all four which is unusual but common of people who grew up in an alcoholic home and learned to act the way they needed to around certain people while losing their true selves. (Sounds like the borderline personality disorder to me!)
Knowing is half the battle! When I am aware of the “why” of something then I can figure out the “how” to deal with it. I think I just opened that door. Finally! I feel like there should be a choir behind me singing hallelujah! LOL
Add to that I received two more awards for my blog yesterday and even though I have a miserable headache (most likely from those horrid antibiotics – only a day and a half to go!!!) I am smiling this morning and have some hope. Thank you Dave for the “WordPress Family Award” and Shaun for the “Thank You Award”. I will be acknowledging all the awards I’ve received soon, I promise. They mean the world to me and make me feel great.
This blog has been like therapy for me. Everyone is so great and uplifting in this blog family and I love the level of honesty and transparency we all share. I would never have had the revelation I had this morning if not for all of you.
So now I need to write down the things I know to be true about the relationship in question and evaluate what I want and if those desires are healthy or based on my insecurities.
Today I’m grateful for:
1. Crisco – it’s good for more than just baking. (Donna ~ this one’s for you. LOL)
2. Getting closer to finishing the horrid antibiotics and even though I feel horrible, I am not having an allergic reaction, thank you God!
3. The self-discovery my fellow blogger brought me this morning. Thanks Stacey1979.