I hit 50 likes yesterday on my blogs! I’ll hit 1,500 views by the end of this week or the beginning of next week. How exciting to do something I love and also be able to connect to people where they’re at. That’s so amazing to me. Maybe there is actually a future for me where I won’t have to struggle financially like I am now. I’d like to be able to pay my bills when they’re due and not have to wonder about how to buy food and medicine. The one other thing I’d love to do is to be able to contribute to my church not only for the building project but also the regular ten percent tithe I used to give.
That was an expense I tortured myself about cutting, but I was going in to debt every month more and more because after I paid my tithe I was running short for my bills. I know the God is very clear that the first ten percent is His, but I’m living as cheaply as I possibly can and I think I fall into the category of widow, even though I’ve never been married. I don’t have anyone to help me or take care of me. Even when my brother and I got along he never helped me with anything. So yes this has been a source of torture for me.
I do volunteer in the sound room quite often and I love being able to serve God with my time. I would like to believe that He loves me just where I’m at and understands. I gave my ten percent and then some when I could afford to do so, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to do that.
I know when I’ve admitted this to other christians some of them were less than understanding. Of course, they’re married and their husbands make good money so they have no idea what it’s like to be in my shoes. Back to the concept of “Don’t judge me until you’ve lived my life.”
I almost broke down in tears yesterday when I went to the mailbox and received a card from my church with a $50 gift card to Redners for groceries. It made me feel like God still loves me even though I’m not perfect.
Today I’m thankful for:
1. Answered prayer – the $50 gift card for groceries.
2. I have the desire to do the right things. Maybe the ability will follow my desire.
3. I love writing.