I finally went back to Valley Farm Market the other day. I haven’t been in that store since my brother embarrassed me beyond belief. (See my post from May 15, 2012 titled “Forgiveness”) They make the best chicken sausage and it’s been since May of last year since I had any. To say I was unsettled going in there after all this time is an understatement.
I feel empowered this morning that I overcame that wall. I don’t even know what the big deal was. I guess just all the hurt and pain that comes to mind when I think of my brother. The rejection I feel because I don’t live up to his standards. The low self-esteem I’ve been fighting to overcome for years because I was never shown how a “good” man treats a woman. The loss of my best friend who helped me through that day in May last year. All of that flooded my mind as I walked through those doors.
But God is so good. The young man that waited on me at the meat counter was so wonderful. He had an infectious smile and a professional enthusiasm that is a rare find these days. He made me feel like a welcomed guest not just a customer.
As I walked out of the store with my treasures I felt good about myself. I felt good because I got really great buys on my fruit and meat. I overcame my fears. I got the chicken sausage that I love and had it for dinner. And I knew I would be able to return to that store in the future without a problem.
Today I’m thankful for:
1. God’s grace.
2. Natalie Goldberg’s book “Writing Down the Bones”. I’ve tried to read it in the past but just didn’t connect. Now after writing seriously for a number of months I’m “getting it”.
3. My friend Tommy’s unconditional love that he shows me even when I push him away.