Frozen by Fear

Appropriate title because it is freezing here. Looking at a high of 26 degrees this afternoon. Have you ever been frozen by fear? That’s the state I’m in right now. Fear that I’m going to lose everything because the money coming in just isn’t keeping up with the money going out.

I need to pay my bills so I can get to the grocery store. My refrigerator is completely bare except for milk and water. At one time I used to go to the food bank, but long lines and long waits of standing for hours caused days of pain and suffering only to discover half the stuff was expired or I was allergic to something in it. So that just wasn’t a feasible option.

The $16 a month in food stamps really don’t buy much but I am grateful for them, at least I can get a couple lunches and some milk. Trying to stick with the weight watchers food plan and lose weight is a real challenge because fruits and vegetables are so very expensive. I understand completely why we have an obesity problem in the united states. The poor can’t afford to eat healthy. I don’t know where to turn or what to do.

I used to write out my bills the night before I got paid, but lately I’ve been too frozen in fear knowing there just isn’t enough money for everything that needs to be paid. And I know everything NEEDS to be paid. So that’s my next chore, pay my bills so I can see if there’s any money left for groceries.

Today I’m thankful for:

1. A warm home for today.

2. The cereal I had for breakfast.

3. The snow isn’t coming until later so I can go to the grocery store.

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