Harsh Reality

I wrote this while on the couch yesterday, but couldn’t post because I needed to just stay on the couch laying down.

Just when you think your well of tears has gone dry you find out they just dried up over that one situation. Now here’s a new reason for the tears.

Yesterday wasn’t at all what I had planned. When I scheduled the appointment with my gynecologist my main concern was my dizziness, disorientation, depression, lack of concentration, sadness, and many other confusing symptoms that are making my life a living hell. (Most likely being caused by the onset of menopause.) I also had some concerns about another issue that had caused my hysterectomy seven years ago. Well, I never expected to have a biopsy done.

It was bad enough being surprised by the biopsy and then add more fuel to the fire, when I got home I started bleeding and it wouldn’t stop. Talk about being terrified. The reality that I am ALONE really hit home. The doctor’s office wanted me to come back in so they could check me out and stop the bleeding but with the fibromyalgia and the pain and fatigue and the emotions surging through me from the terror I was in I was in no shape to drive an hour round trip. I pretty much resigned myself to just bleeding to death and dying here alone.

The cat knew something was very wrong because he stayed perched above me on the couch by my head looking down on me. He never even pestered me about his food that I forgot to give him. Morriss is such a good boy. I’ve come to the conclusion it truly sucks being alone..

Things I am thankful for:

1. Ice to stop bleeding.

Sorry but that’s all I can think about right now…

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