The past couple days have been reflective and thought-provoking. I’ve been thinking about what type of damage fibromyalgia has done to my life. Anyone who suffers with this knows it’s not just physical loss. It affects every area of your life. I try to make the best of it and laugh as often as I can, but there are times when I come face to face with the reality of my life and it’s heartbreaking.
My friendships have been diminished to just lunch dates or phone conversations. I don’t get invited to go and do fun things anymore like I used to because I either can’t afford to go or I just can’t, physically. Even if I could do some things the invites don’t come anymore. Or maybe they mention it, but when the time comes they forget about me and go with a friend that can keep up with them. It’s hurtful and depressing.
I try to not think about it, but these past few days have been hard. For the past five years I’ve been hungering for a man in my life. I’ve been on a few disappointing dates and I’ve met a couple of nice guys. Unfortunately, I’m still alone. I just want a man to share my life with. A man to be my friend and lover. A man to protect, love and adore me. A man who looks at me and sees me, not my fibromyalgia.
Since none of my dreams are coming true I’ve tried to turn my attention to writing and most of the time it distracts me for a little while. I’m glad that I have a lot to learn because I at least have a goal to push toward.
Conclusion for Today: Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe my dreams will be realized if I just hang in there.