Suffering

I wish this blah mood would leave me already.  I have no reason to be here anymore.  I picked up my new glasses yesterday and I can finally see again after suffering through some terrible blurriness.  I have some really great friends.  Two of which read my blog yesterday and made me feel like I’m not wasting my time with this writing dream.  

So, why is it I always feel like if I don’t have __________ then everything is not right with my world.  I’m sure we all have that _________ we’re looking for, that we think would make our world better.  I’ve been wanting and waiting and praying for a man to share my life with for so long now I think God has forgotten about me.  

It’s so easy for people to say, “When it’s God’s timing it will happen.”  Or my favorite platitude that I hate, “When you least expect it, it will happen.” When you’re suffering in the waiting room with so much love you want to share and feeling like your life is going by too fast these sentences are not a comfort at all they actually feel like sledge hammers to my heart. 

I sit here today wondering how to pull my head out of my butt and get writing.  But I guess that’s what I’m doing right now. 

Conclusion for Today: I just need to keep writing no matter how I’m feeling or what is going on in my life.  Maybe the suffering is where the motivation for my writing begins.   I can’t help anyone else unless I go through it first.

 

 

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