I turned In my prison ministry materials on Saturday and I think I’m still processing the emotions and feelings that went along with that exchange. I’ve been in that particular ministry for over five years and prison ministry in general for over twelve years. I guess that’s part of my melancholy mood.
I know we all have days when we feel melancholy and overwhelmed by life, but when I’m in the midst of one of these days I wonder if I will ever feel ok again. My raging insecurities feel like they have a strangle hold around my neck and it’s hard to breath. I know tomorrow or even later today things will look and feel better in some areas of my life while others will still look like a smoldering train wreck. The key is to keep hanging onto the roller coaster ride and see what the next destination has in store for me.
I also know I’ve been through much worse and God has never let me down and always brought me through. So truly it’s an act of faith to just believe that even though at this moment things don’t look so great they can change in the blink of an eye.
I spent yesterday in one of Pennsylvania’s State Prisons with my friends visiting their son. Maybe that’s part of my melancholy mood this morning. I know people who have never dealt with having a loved one in prison have very strong opinions about people who are locked up in them. I’m not advocating letting them free, but I think we as humans just need to have a little more compassion in our hearts for them and one another in general. We’re all so quick to judge (myself included) things and people, when truly it isn’t our place to judge.
Conclusion For Today: I need to be gentle with myself and others and let God do the judging and keep my nose out of things that are none of my business.